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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #561
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    Jan 2011
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    Lol, that's it. Good stuff.
    Don't bring skittles to a gun fight.

  2. #562

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    Making good people helpless, doesn't make bad people harmless!

  3. #563
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    Why does nobody go to a muslim bakery and demand a gay wedding cake ?

  4. #564
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camouflaged View Post
    Can't read the twitter post, can you paraphrase it?
    Approach with a calm resolve, attack with reckless indifference. Gladius Republicae!
    "...use Gold like it's gunpowder..."

  5. #565
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    Bacon Lettuce Tomato Cheese
    Don't bring skittles to a gun fight.

  6. #566

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    B-l-T-CH

    A woman went through the drive through and ordered a blt with cheese. When she saw it written out on the wrapper she was furious and took the sandwich inside and demanded to speak to the manager and wanted an explanation. He was confused. She wanted to know why this was written on her sandwich wrapper. He had to explain, " because you ordered a bacon lettuce and tomato with cheese.
    Last edited by Camouflaged; 01-12-2020 at 08:08 PM.
    Making good people helpless, doesn't make bad people harmless!

  7. #567
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    Dang good thing she didn't order a WHORE; Wheat hoagie with onion, relish and endive.

  8. #568
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    Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

    "Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

    But about six months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 6 months ago?"

    "Yes, I do." said Bob

    "Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

    "Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."

    "And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

    Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"

    "She just died and left me everything."

  9. #569
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    Wasn't expecting that. LOL
    Don't bring skittles to a gun fight.

  10. #570
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