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Thread: Just a funny gardening story

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
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    Default Just a funny gardening story

    I don't presently have much of a garden; deer and squirrels pretty much killed off what the heat didn't. But I was thinking about a little "garden" from way back when I thought I'd share.

    Ever since I was a toddler I was obsessed with plants, according to my mother. One time when my sister and I were 5 and 6, our mom had taken us and gone "up to the country" (back to see her parents) fishing for the weekend. While we were there my granddad had given her some SC corn (Silver Queen) to take home, and she had her fish in one crisper and the corn in another in the refrigerator.

    Mom worked and dad was rarely home, so my sister and I were home alone with the babysitter every day until Mom got home. The babysitter would sometimes fall asleep in front of the TV and we'd get busy doing what kids do, of course, which is get into stuff.

    We got the brilliant idea to help mom "clean the fish" which we'd overheard her telling someone on the phone. So, we thought the best way to clean them was with a brush and some dishwashing soap. We used her good hairbrush!! (I still remember that spanking) and we just poured half a bottle of Ivory Liquid on the fish and went to brushing the scales off. When we were done, my sister reminded me that in Vacation Bible School we'd learned how the Pilgrims used fish to plant their corn! Bingo! So, even though we "cleaned" the fish, we then used two of them to cut up and put in the ground to feed the corn.

    The corn we took and scraped off the cob like we'd seen mom do, and then we went outside the back door. We dug holes in the flower beds, and put one chunk of fish and one kernel of corn in each hole. I guess we had a dozen or so holes before we got tired and quit.

    Mom came home, saw the mess, and beat our little butts til we begged for mercy. We had ruined her hairbrush, messed up the entire kitchen, ruined her fish, but we did leave most of the corn!! Anyway, a few days or a week went by, and then my mom reported what looked to be like corn coming up. She was a farm girl and she knew corn sprouts when she saw them. Even though it was after the growing season it was still warm and the corn actually sprouted and came up. She then became the most proud mother ever, bragging to everyone who would listen, how smart we were, and to be BABIES, for that matter, and we were natural born farmers. Our grandparents made the 40-mile trip to see the Miracle Corn because they both said it was ridiculous, it was likely grass coming up, that no way would a couple of kids be able to plant and grow corn.

    Well, that's all that I remember but I thought it was a fun gardening story. Nowadays I limit my fascination with plants to the flowering type although I know I need to get with the program and grow something useful. That's why I come here and learn - thanks, everyone.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    Helena Montana
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    Great story.
    We planted tomatoes this spring and in the interest of keeping as organic as possible my wife used some organic fish fertilizer. We came home one day and all the tomatoes had been dug or pulled up. We normally have deer and a few bear but this was different. We finally found out our rescue dog had smelled the fish and gone investigating.

    Another time we were growing herbs with the vegetables and decided to cut and dry some of the herbs. We cut and tied in bunches what we thought were savory herbs only to find out we had cut all the carrot tops off.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    NJ (anti gun I know, I live it)
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    Too funny junkman. I almost did the same thing. I was getting ready to trim what I thought was parsley. My son in law said I thing that's a carrot. Sure enough it was a carrot lol. I let it grow and we ate it with a salad.
    "Improvise, adapt & overcome"
    Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge

  4. #4
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    Dec 1969
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    Lake LBJ, Texas
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    Great stories.
    If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd think about you more often.


    I dream of a tomorrow where a chicken can cross the road without his motives being questioned.

  5. #5

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    lol, you guys are a riot!

    My granddaughter did something similar but with watermelon seeds. We took a cold watermelon down to the pond to have a picnic while fishing for catfish. Didn't know it at the time but my granddaughter was collecting ALL the seeds from everyone's plate. She snuck off to the other side of the pond where is was sunny from sun up to sundown and planted every single one of those hundreds of seeds and I swear, EVERY SINGLE ONE of those dang seeds sprouted and took over. We had watermelon vines taking over and some of the melons had rolled down the berm to the waters edge. Our pond was over grown with water melon vines and big ol Crimson watermelon. Needless to say, we had to give a lot of them away but I managed to make a butt load of watermelon rind perseveres and jelly and we ate watermelon every weekend. One of the melons ended up weighing 38 pounds. It was as big as her.
    My daughter told me I have created a monster. She plants every seed she can get her hands on and Jessica's back yard is no longer a backyard. It's a massive garden, so now that's Lakens job. Tending the garden that SHE planted.. That kid can make anything grow!
    Remember what Einstein said:
    I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
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    Southeast Georgia, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camouflaged View Post
    lol, you guys are a riot!

    My granddaughter did something similar but with watermelon seeds. We took a cold watermelon down to the pond to have a picnic while fishing for catfish. Didn't know it at the time but my granddaughter was collecting ALL the seeds from everyone's plate. She snuck off to the other side of the pond where is was sunny from sun up to sundown and planted every single one of those hundreds of seeds and I swear, EVERY SINGLE ONE of those dang seeds sprouted and took over. We had watermelon vines taking over and some of the melons had rolled down the berm to the waters edge. Our pond was over grown with water melon vines and big ol Crimson watermelon. Needless to say, we had to give a lot of them away but I managed to make a butt load of watermelon rind perseveres and jelly and we ate watermelon every weekend. One of the melons ended up weighing 38 pounds. It was as big as her.
    My daughter told me I have created a monster. She plants every seed she can get her hands on and Jessica's back yard is no longer a backyard. It's a massive garden, so now that's Lakens job. Tending the garden that SHE planted.. That kid can make anything grow!
    And all these years I thought my mother was the only person in the universe to make pickles out of watermelon rinds...I remember the house smelling of vinegar and cloves, enough to water your eyes, and big crock containers sitting all over the kitchen.

  7. #7

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    Nope, there's another one.. lol

    Shoot! I pickle, can, perserve, jelly, dehydrate, sun dry and freeze dry everything I can grow that's edible. My kitchen is a working kitchen. Not fancy. Just big and very functional.
    Remember what Einstein said:
    I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
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    Southeast Georgia, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camouflaged View Post
    Nope, there's another one.. lol

    Shoot! I pickle, can, perserve, jelly, dehydrate, sun dry and freeze dry everything I can grow that's edible. My kitchen is a working kitchen. Not fancy. Just big and very functional.
    I am jealous of your kitchen! My house is very small, only 1200 sf or so, and the kitchen is about 8 x 14; just big enough for small projects. I have only about 8 feet total of usable countertop space and about 10 kind of small cabinets. But I make it do; I'm a real Southern cook, do a lot of things from scratch. I make my own pies, and try to use the least processed items as possible, so having that small a kitchen is a real challenge sometimes. I've occasionally burnt down a plastic Tupperware piece or bread wrapper on the stovetop when I was short of space - turned on the wrong burner and then "what's that smell?" Sigh. But the good thing about the house is that it is paid off - no mortgage to worry about, so that kind of placates me being aggravated about the cramped conditions.

  9. #9

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    Holy crap! My kitchen tools and appliances would fill up you kitchen. Ack!
    I have to have lots of room. We built our kitchen. It'a 23' deep by 18' wide just in my work area not including a tripple pocelain sink and dual stove and recessed dbl fridg, and the appliance room set off of that is 15' x 15'. I have a big steel rolling work table that Rolls into that when not in use. I have tons if cabinets plus a big walkin pantry. We also built another room just for food storage for my can goods, tubers, herbs and such. My kitchen area is the biggest room in our house and the most functional and used. It's my favorite place to be when i'm inside.
    Last edited by Camouflaged; 09-09-2016 at 05:04 PM.
    Remember what Einstein said:
    I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

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