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Thread: How to make safe drinking water

  1. #1

    Default How to make safe drinking water

    Before we get into the actual process of purifying water, I feel it is my duty to warn the reader of the extreme dangers of purified water and, more importantly, the impossibility of making it completely safe. While the CDC does not classify clean drinking water as a toxic substance, the CDC does classify water among the deadliest substances in the world today. It is responsible for thousands of deaths each year, so caution is advised in its proper use.

    Accidental inhalation of water can be fatal, in a solid state it can cause severe tissue damage and in a gaseous form it can cause severe burns. All scientists and doctors agree that water is the most addictive substance on the planet, oftentimes leading to death in the case of sudden withdrawal from prolonged dependence.

    To those who naysay, I say, “Bother!” This country was founded on beer! That’s right, the Pilgrims we pay homage to every Thanksgiving couldn’t have made the long journey across the Pond without beer because they knew the dangers of drinking water. When they finally got here, they decided that it sucked so bad they all wanted to go home, but they lacked enough beer for the return trip, so they had to stick it out.

    Now I know what your thinking, “If I switch to beer, it can have negative consequences too. For instance: waking up next to a three hundred pound transvestite while clothed in only my grandmother’s underwear…” But, hey, that can be forgotten with a few more beers (okay, a lot more beer), however, you have to admit, life would be a whole lot funnier with more beer.

    The best reason to go off drinking water and on to beer is: if you stick to it long enough, you’ll be eligible for Social Security Disability, then you can stop going to work because you’ll have that monthly check from the Federal Government to buy more beer with.

    So forget about making clean drinking water and invest your time and money in some brewer’s yeast, hops, a carboy and a wort chiller. It’s what I did and I couldn’t be happier - except for the tattoo of Caitlyn Jenner on my chest - that’s a real bummer, but luckily with a few more beers he (I mean she) will be a faded memory - as long as I don’t fall for the clean drinking water trap again.

  2. #2
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    lol...
    leave the gun... take the cannoli...

    In times of strength prepare for times of weakness...

  3. #3

    Default

    What the hell have you been sniffin?
    Notice I didn't ask "drinkin", cuz I know what your answer would be. Pthpthpth!
    Remember what Einstein said:
    “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

  4. #4
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    Dihydrogenmonoxide can kill you quick but you can't live without it.

    Beer can kill you slow or fast, but do you want to live without it? LOL.

  5. #5
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    Hydroxic acid can also be fatal....

    Little known fact... Water is the only substance that is denser as a liquid than as a solid... All the passengers of the Titanic would agree....
    leave the gun... take the cannoli...

    In times of strength prepare for times of weakness...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    Greer South Carolina
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    Hello All
    RE: Beer and Well-being.
    Beer was a standard in the Middle Age Europe:
    Reason: the water they had was so contaminated with fecal material from villages/farms along every water way. Very few people had good wells or springs to draw clean water from. Even children were given the local brew instead of stream water. Small Beer
    Boiling the local water and adding ,hops,grains, etc and letting it ferment, made for a safe, stable drinking source and more "Storable" resource.
    ===============
    BTY: Point of History or 2
    The Pilgrim's Landed at Plymouth Rock because they ran out of beer on shipboard.
    The had to grow crops to brew more beer and decided to stay
    The British used rum mixed with barrel water in their navy (Grog) to Sterilize the barrel water. There were many Mutinies attributed to a cut back in the Grog/water ration.
    The English Beer Guinness was originally brewed and supplied to British Ships.
    Because it would keep well on long sea trips with out refrigeration.
    Happy Trails
    Lift a Pint of beer in Honor to our country and all of our Service people.
    hihobaron and the Troops in SC

  7. #7
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    I know I'll probably regret it but I think I'd like to see a pic of the Caitlyn Jenner tatoo.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by milkman View Post
    I know I'll probably regret it but I think I'd like to see a pic of the Caitlyn Jenner tatoo.
    Careful what you ask for. You just can't unsee some things.
    Once on safari in deepest darkest Afganistan we ran out of Gin, and were compelled to survive on food and water for several days.


    I typically carry a flask of vodka for snakebites. I also carry a small snake.- W. C. Fields

  9. #9
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  10. #10
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    Mar 2016
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    Oh my!
    "Improvise, adapt & overcome"
    Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge

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