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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #291
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    NJ (anti gun I know, I live it)
    Posts
    753

    Default

    Lol
    "Improvise, adapt & overcome"
    Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge

  2. #292
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,785

    Default

    *
    An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their new mobile phones.
    *
    *
    The wife was a romantic type and a retired English teacher of the classics.
    *
    The husband a retired Marine Sgt. Major was more of a no-nonsense guy.
    *
    One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.* She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
    *
    "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.* If you are eating, send me a bite.* If you are drinking, send me a sip.* If you are crying, send me your tears.* I love you."
    *
    The husband texted back to her: "On the toilet.* Please advise."
    *
    *

  3. #293
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Sweet Tennessee
    Posts
    1,942

    Default

    Lmao that's great!
    Don't bring skittles to a gun fight.

  4. #294
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,785

    Default

    How politics works

    I ASKED MY SON, " WILL YOU MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE." HE SAID, "NO."
    I TOLD HIM, "SHE IS BILL GATES' DAUGHTER."
    HE SAID, "YES."

    I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, "I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON,"
    BILL GATES SAID, "NO"
    I TOLD BILL GATES, "MY SON IS THE C.E.O. OF THE WORLD BANK."
    BILL GATES SAID, "OK"

    I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE C.E.O.
    HE SAID, "NO"
    I TOLD HIM, "MY SON IS BILL GATES' SON-IN-LAW"
    HE SAID, "OK"

    THIS IS EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS

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