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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #251
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    South Florida, last exit before the keys.
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    Bahaha

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk
    One day somebody's gonna have to make a stand,
    One day somebody's gotta say enough!

  2. #252
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    Sitting on my fat ass
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    I like my refugees like I like my kraft dinner noodles

    Limp and floating in water
    Cry in training - laugh in battle

  3. #253
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    Jul 2009
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    Sitting on my fat ass
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    I like my coffee like I like my women

    Ground up and in my freezer
    Cry in training - laugh in battle

  4. #254
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Sweet Tennessee
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    Okie dokie, lucifer
    Don't bring skittles to a gun fight.

  5. #255
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    1,643

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    What deep things retired men think about.....
    *
    I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.*
    *
    My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing" The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.*
    *
    Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?*
    *
    Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."*
    *
    On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."*
    *
    I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
    *
    *
    *

  6. #256
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    South Florida, last exit before the keys.
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    Lol

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk
    One day somebody's gonna have to make a stand,
    One day somebody's gotta say enough!

  7. #257
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    N. Texas
    Posts
    6,273

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    Lol
    "The First Gay President", L'dMAO!! "Peace can ONLY be achieved through SUPERIOR FIREPOWER, STOMPING LIBS and CARPETBOMBING"!!

  8. #258
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    3,230

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    Quote Originally Posted by bambam View Post
    What deep things retired men think about.....
    *
    I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.*
    *
    My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing" The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.*
    *
    Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?*
    *
    Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."*
    *
    On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."*
    *
    I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
    *
    *
    *
    LMAO! More and more I'm starting to think we are kin somewhere along the line. We sure do seem to think a lot alike on many things!

  9. #259
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    1,643

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    Quote Originally Posted by beowulf View Post
    LMAO! More and more I'm starting to think we are kin somewhere along the line. We sure do seem to think a lot alike on many things!
    Entirely possible, but even if we aren't , sure wish we could meet up and have a cold one. My buddy Alvy wants to grill an alligator sometime this summer, my brother found a place that will ship a whole gater for a barbecue. We are gonna do it, and everyone on here is invited. I'll let you all know the details as soon as we figure out what weekend. For those who don't like to eat reptiles, we will probably, likely, deep fry some frog legs and throw a deer ham or 2 on the campfire also.

  10. #260
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    Jan 2011
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    Sweet Tennessee
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    I honestly will make the trip, if you're serious. I come up in your area a few times a year anyway to hang out with a buddy of mine and fish.
    Don't bring skittles to a gun fight.

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