I got a good chuckle out of the description...
Originally Posted by Enthusiast
Night falls. Goldenrod Circle stirs. I watch. This is my subdivision. I am its protector. Its confessor. Its block captain.
It’s a warm night. Sticky. The smell of roasting flesh is in the air. It makes the vermin restless. The sweaty wind carries a howl of desire. I’ve told Mrs. Whitcomb to keep her dogs quiet after 7 p.m. It’s only 6:45 now. You get away with it this time, Whitcomb. But I’ll be listening. And watching. Always watching.
There’s a shape in the street. Bulky shadows. I peer through my N-Vision NVN3 Night Vision Monocular. Infrared, 2x magnification. Still can’t make it out. I grab the N-Vision NVC5 for its 3.2x magnification. Now I recognize it. It’s what I feared. I feel the rage rising in my throat like vomitous bile. Someone will pay for this.
I move. Silently. Past the boxwoods and cana. Across Goldenrod Circle. A wind chime tinkles a strangled anthem of degradation. I knock on the door. I can hear Wheel of Fortune inside. He’s home.
“Oh, hey, Brian,” Tom Reardon says. “What’s up?” His smug smile makes me want to puke on his face, and then punch the puke. But I hold back.
“Did you think you would get away with it, Tom?”
His brow furrows. The wrinkle of the guilty. “Sorry, what?”
I gesture toward the blocky shape in the street, in front of his house. “This is Tuesday, Tom. Or were you too whacked out to know what day it is?”
He looks past me. Recognition sets in. “Oh, right. Today was trash day and I forgot to bring in the empty dumpster. Hey, do you even call it a dumpster when it’s on wheels like that?”
I won’t let him distract me. Not tonight. “Just see that it gets brought in. Understand?”
“Sure thing, Brian. Hey, do you and Renee want to come over this weekend? I think we’re going to fill up the pool.”
But I’m already gone. Off to nail the next scumbag, the next scofflaw violating the Goldenrod Circle homeowner’s covenant. It won’t take me long. I scan the street with my N-Vision Monocular. I beg the night to yield up its secrets.
Those Who Sacrifice Liberty For Security Deserve Neither